Aloha to KMB

One of my first memories of Kathy was hearing “Strangers in the Night” by Frank Sinatra-playing it over and over again on her record player (when record players were in style the first time) in her room in our house in Oxon Hill. Since there was such an age gap, she was already a teenager when I was born. She had a love of two “Franks”, not just Frank Sinatra, but another Frank, but they were not destined to be married. I wanted to acknowledge this for Kathy that Mom did not agree to the marriage (Dad had died a few years earlier), and she was heartbroken. Her life would have turned out very differently if she had married Frank. However, she had an amazing life all the same and touched so many lives.

Kathy had nurturing qualities early in life which probably led her to nursing career. Since she was the oldest child, she was given the responsibility for keeping us all safe, and that also brought a bit of bossiness with it (rightfully so, considering the three of us and our lively personalities-Steve, Jim and me). It probably also helped that our great, great grandfather opened one of the first drugstores in Washington, D.C., as well as the fact that Mom/Mommie Ruth attended nursing school before getting married and having kids. And then she was blessed with a “second sister” who was much closer in age with the same profession. Jane was her sister-in-law, and they were very close because they had so much in common in addition to the nursing profession: The Orioles, the band Chicago, and being Italian as well.

She was an IV nurse for a long time, then she spent the last part of her career in Infection Control. At that time, I worked in infectious diseases diagnostics for a large biotech company, working on Influenza A and B tests, RSV, and C. Difficile tests. We used to have some interesting conversations and often argued about when influenza A and B/RSV season would hit checking the CDC website to see who was right. But more importantly, I gained insights from her experience and wisdom. And so often, I would often ask her questions about the kids when they had ailments to get a diagnosis.

She dedicated her life to nursing and worked very hard, often working long hours, but she loved the work. She was a devoted friend, always helping them out, generous with her time. When she wanted to relax, she came to Hawaii for the beach and good reads. Kathy loved to travel and went to many destinations, and for many years, Kathy alternated between England visiting her friend Jean and to here in Maui. She had visited Oahu, Kaui and the big island, but Maui was her favorite; and always stayed in Kihei. One year she went to Jamaica and hated it. Another year she went with our family to Bermuda and commented that she still liked Hawaii better.

There were a few adventures on some of these trips to Hawaii. In October 2006 when Jennifer and Sam, along with a very young Ella stayed in Kihei. During that time, there was an earthquake and Aunt Kathy, Ella and Jennifer were in the condo at the time. Aunt Kathy was a bit flustered as to what to do, but Jennifer had experienced an earthquake before. After the shaking stopped, Jennifer told AK to pack up some food and Jennifer packed up diapers. By that time, Sam was on his way back to the condo and they met him downstairs and evacuated along the tsunami evacuation route. They ended up sitting in the car halfway up a hill, facing the ocean so they could see if a tsunami was coming. After a few hours, officials sent the “all clear” and they went back to the condo. Since the power was off, they were sustaining themselves on peanut butter sandwiches and peanut butter crackers, but luckily the power was back on by evening.

The next day or very shortly after, there was terrible rain that had caused flooding. At that point, they decided to leave and fly back to Oahu (Jennifer, Sam and Ella lived in Oahu at that time). Roads were flooded and they had to try to weave their way to the airport. And after getting to the airport, sat for hours on a bench under cover but the rain was coming down and splashing everywhere and poor Ella was soaked. Jennifer changed Ella’s clothes at least once. This was quite a memorable trip and AK mentioned that the watch she was wearing got soaked and had to be fixed.

Kathy loved anything about the British royal family, whether it was a “tell all” book or a royal wedding. She loved drinking tea (never liked coffee ) and liked taking family members to British teas… Kathy took Jane and Ella to tea in VA….Jennifer and AK had British tea at the Moana Surfrider in Honolulu. AK and I went to several British teas, but two were memorable. One was the Willard Hotel in DC, and then there was the Hamilton Princess Hotel in Bermuda. Very proper teas with the scones and clotted cream, along with all the finger sandwiches.

She was an Orioles season ticket holder with Jane, and they would go to Orioles Spring Training in Florida (and other Orioles friends) before the season started. And, after the season started, family and friends would come with her and Jane, whether they were playing well or not, and freezing or frying depending on the time of year. Kathy always tried to bring the kids when there was something fun going on-whether an Orioles giveaway or running the bases. She loved talking to people at the Orioles games and made friends with the folks who sat in her section (and beyond). But she loved to talk to Charlie, a sweet old guy who was one of the attendants who worked for the Orioles for many years and she was quite sad when he passed away.

Kathy loved her niece, nephews, great nieces, and great nephews. She would talk about her “favorite youngest/oldest nephew” with whoever happened to be within hearing distance. She only had one niece, Jennifer, so she was always the favorite niece! Truly she loved all of them, regardless. And that love was evidenced by that fact that she went to many of their sports games, concerts, plays, baptisms, first communions, confirmations, and weddings. She didn’t want to miss anything.

She would babysit her niece and/or nephews when going away for a weekend. I know they enjoyed spending time with her without the parents hanging around. The kids always behaved (thankfully) and she had fun taking them bowling, board games, cards (especially Uno) the movies, Chuck E. Cheese, McDonalds, but especially Chik Fil A, which was her favorite fast-food restaurant. There weren’t many incidents and luckily, she had nursing skills to deal with anything. In many ways, she was a grandmother to them.

She loved her clothes, Coach/Vera Bradley handbags and wallets, designer shoes, and of course, jewelry. She loved shoes and had lots of pairs..I was always sad that my foot was so much bigger than hers, otherwise I would have had some awesome hand me downs. And she liked classic jewelry and clothing, nothing too flashy and would often voice her opinion if she didn’t like our jewelry choices or a particular type of clothing. She was pretty vocal if she didn’t like the way someone looked, voicing her opinion (even to Mom/Mommie Ruth). I recently had a visitation (dream) from Kathy and in that dream, she handed me a scarf (she loved scarves too) to go with a turquoise jacket I was wearing in the dream. So even in the afterlife, she is still advising me on what to wear. But what a sweet gesture from your sister, just as she did in life and acknowledging to me that she hasn’t changed at all. During that dream, she appeared to be much younger when she was in her 40’s with blond hair. This must have been the age that she enjoyed the most in her earthly life.

Kathy loved the holidays and made the circuit at Christmas. She would spend a few days before Christmas and Christmas morning with the Fisher family, then head back to VA for dinner with one of the Bury families… She always made cookies with my boys when they were young, which they looked forward to very much, and was very patient with them, even though the kitchen became quite a mess. She enjoyed watching Brad and Colin getting creative with gingerbread houses-she especially liked their “Walking Dead” gingerbread house. She was always very generous with her gifts, with lovely, wrapped gifts to make sure all of us had a great Christmas (and our birthdays too). She was very rooted in holiday traditions. Once I started making scones for Christmas morning breakfast, I couldn’t change that menu-one year I contemplated adding currants or a different scone recipe and was promptly told not to change the recipe. She was also very particular about sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving too. If you changed the recipe in the slightest, Kathy would make a comment. You could not change the “standard” Thanksgiving or Christmas side dishes.

Mom/Mommie Ruth liked to try to mess with her on the sweet potato recipe, trying something new (like adding nuts), or a different topping and Kathy always figured it out quickly and made a comment. She was the master of carving turkeys and hams at the holidays, maybe she missed her calling as a surgeon. One of the other holiday traditions that she looked forward to was when the kids (and adults) starting the “spoon nose”, crystal singing with the glassware and the napkin ring nose balancing.

She absolutely loved our animals too…Frisky, Winston, Jackie, Maggie and Mabel.. I’m sure there are others I have forgotten. She loved their antics and always found it funny about how Frisky’s ashes were on top of Steve and Jane’s china cabinet in the dining room, especially during family dinners and always made a point to talk to Frisky at a family dinner in the dining room as if she was still with the family even though she was not in physical form.

We all miss you, but you are now with everyone who has gone before us-Dad, our grandparents, Mom and Dad, Jane, our animals…And now that you have a “birds eye view” of the Orioles, how about a World Series win this year? Can you and Jane work on this? It’s been 43 years-long overdue and just in case you hadn’t noticed, we are wearing Orioles garb in honor of you, sista.

We are bringing your ashes back to your favorite place on the planet. We know you are still with us, even though not physically.

Love and Mahalo, Kathy