Andrew Shalley

We have chosen to share the words what Andrew’s daughter, Kathryn, read at his memorial.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it through this. I’m pretty bad for not being able to talk and cry at the same time, so much so that I wasn’t sure if I was going to say anything at all. But I know that it would make my dad really happy to have some words shared amongst loved ones.
I’m learning that in grief counselling, or therapy, or any evaluation you have after a death, the first question is always, “what was he like?”
And I tell them the truth, or as much of the truth of a person that you can put into words for a stranger. I say things like: funny, generous, kind; he had more empathy for others than for himself; he wasn’t perfect but he loved his family and he always tried his best; he went out of his way to support those he cared about — sometimes so far out of his way that he would up at odd places, like Crimson Lake. That incident, while one of the most frightening of many of our lives, showed me without doubt that when logic, reason, and hesitation were taken away, my father’s core impulse was to help his friends.
Which is really a pretty incredible thing.
Dad and I had a way of never quite understanding one another. But I am certain that he would share my impulse in this moment to tell a joke, clear the air — or the room. He would probably quote some meaningful song lyric — if only he could remember more than a line or a scrap of the tune.
He told me that it wasn’t dying that scared him; it was the idea of leaving us alone. So I think he would be comforted in knowing that we are here, in this beautiful place, together, and that we remember him in the love we show one another.”